


Dear Diary

by Deer_Skjeer



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Eduardo is the worst-, Feels, M/M, MAtt is too pure-, Mark serves no actual purpose to the story-, No ghosts (yet), Self-Harm, Suicide, im bad at tags, might add more if I add new chapters, probs not though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:13:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deer_Skjeer/pseuds/Deer_Skjeer
Summary: Matt just takes a little read through Jon's diary.Nothing that exciting..Or is there?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for this from some roleplay I did with a person  
> That was sad  
> Very sad

Dear diary,  
Today was good! I didn't get hit once! I'd say that's a new record. Hopefully more days are like this.

 

Dear diary,  
Had to keep this diary hidden or else Eduardo is gonna throw it out like last time :( I don't know why. Well, let's hope this one lasts a long time!

 

Dear diary,  
I'm so excited! It's only 3 weeks till my birthday! I'm going to be 24! I can't wait till then!

 

Dear diary,  
Wow! It's been a whole week since I wrote here! Ha ha, how forgetful of me :) I finally met someone who likes me! His name’s Matt! He's really nice. I like him, and he likes me! We began dating super quickly! In fact, we had our first kiss today! It was so nice, I've never had a kiss before! We're going on our first date tomorrow! I can't wait!

 

Dear diary,  
Today hasn't been so good.. Matt didn't show up for the date, I had been waiting there for a whole three hours for him! Then, I went home and Eduardo scolded me for being late :( I have a black eye from him punching me, I really wish he wouldn't. But, I'm sure tomorrow will be better!

 

Dear diary,  
I can't believe it! Mark and Eduardo took my flight tickets! For my birthday, I wanted to go on holiday and invite Matt with me, so I got two tickets, but they took them and left instead! I'm so mad right now! It cost me around £1,000 to pay for the first-class flight AND the hotel! I spent a whole year saving up for that >:( I don't know what to do, I'm so mad!

 

Today, me and Eduardo got into an argument again. It wasn't fun at all. He punched me so many times, I can't remember. Mark didn't help, he was against me as well. Eduardo said I was worthless, and all I do is whine. Is he true? I'm not sure..

 

I'm impressed, that's three days I've gone without self-harm. I'd rather I didn't do this, I'd rather everything was happy and normal, but I'm afraid it's gotten to this point. I was speaking to Matt earlier today. He noticed the cuts on my arms. He looked upset. I don't want him to be upset, I want to stop, but I can't. He told me I was beautiful, and that I don't deserve to feel like this. He's so nice, I wish I could stop for him..  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Matt read Jon's diary and, as he read that last line, began to tear up. He was three hours late for a date? He felt terrible for that. Eduardo was beating Jon up regularly? Even worse. Still, he braced himself and read the next paragraphs..  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hello, diary,  
I don't think I'm very well. I've been having these really bad thoughts, and I don't like them, but they're tempting. The self-harms gotten even worse. Eduardo found out and yelled at me, which hurt me even more. I don't like this, I want to be with Matt, where it's safe. Matt wouldn't yell at me, Matt wouldn't hurt me. He'd be nice and help me through this, wouldn't he?

 

Diary,  
I told Matt about how I felt. He looked heartbroken. I wish I didn't say that now. He told me not to think like that, that I'm absolutely wonderful and shouldn't think any less of myself. I don't like it when he worries, I want him to always be happy. That's because, when he's happy, I'm happy, and I really need some happiness right now..  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Matt couldn't bear to read the last paragraph. This was the last one Jon wrote. If Matt had found out earlier, he could've stopped him, but he was too late..  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Goodbye, diary,  
I've finally decided.  
I'm going to kill myself.  
I just can't take this life anymore. Everyone hates me, and I feel absolutely terrible. I just can't. All I want is for Matt to be happy. I'm making him unhappy by being with him. I don't know how I want to go out, though, I just want to be with him when I do so.  
Matt, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.  
———————————————————————————————————————————  
As he read that, it all flashed back to him, every horrific moment of Jon's demise. He hated that memory. The one person he loved more than himself died right before his eyes. He remembered it too well..  
******************************************************************************************************  
As Matt sat by the table, Jon was happily making food for the two of them. They were both happy, not a care in the world. Except one of them wasn't happy. As Jon made the food, he quickly and quietly slipped some rat poison into his meal, making sure it wasn't noticeable. He finished making the dishes and set them out on the table, making sure he kept the poisoned one to himself. He sat down on the chair opposite to Matt. He took a while to start eating, and Matt noticed this,  
“Jon, are you alright?”  
“Y-Yep! I'm fine..!”  
“You don't sound fine. Are you sure you're alright?”  
“Absolutely! I'm fine, see?”  
“Sure you are..”

Jon sighed and began eating. Minutes after his first bite, he began to feel queasy. The poison was working. He choked a bit, then a lot, then he was choking up blood. Matt noticed this and panicked,  
“Oh my god! Jon! Are you alright?!” He got up and ran over to the shorter man and knelt down next to him, patting him on the back in attempt to help him stop. He didn't stop. He collapsed, his body failing. Matt began to cry, realising what was going on.  
“N-No! Y-You can't be dying! J-Jon! W-Wake up!” He nudged his friend’s body, trying to wake him up, but he wouldn't. Jon was dead. Matt just burst into tears, hugging his cold, limp body, praying that somehow, by holding him tight enough, he'd come back. But that was just nonsense. He was gone, and wasn't coming back.  
******************************************************************************************************  
Matt wasn't the same after that. Weeks later, after the funeral had finished, he decided to go back to Jon's old house, for old times sake. As he wandered around, he noticed a pastel blue book, titled ‘Diary’. Out of curiosity, he picked it up and began to read, soon realising this was Jon's diary. He had no idea that this is what Jon thought about. He didn't know he cared so much, yet had no care for himself. Matt just froze as he read some later paragraphs, the guilt weighing him down completely flattening his ego. As he read that, it all flashed back to him, every horrific moment of Jon's demise. He hated that memory. The one person he loved more than himself died right before his eyes. He remembered it too well..

Matt looked to his side and noticed a pencil, likely the one Jon used to write with. He picked it up and began to write..

‘Dear diary..’


	2. The Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That diary left more questions than answers.  
> He wanted to know if there was anything else his friend had been hiding.  
> And there was.

Matt sighed, finishing what he was writing and closing the diary, gently setting it and the pencil back on the desk. Something kept bothering him, though. That diary left more questions than answers. He wanted to know if there was anything else his friend had been hiding, but where to start. Soon enough, he got an idea. Eduardo would be home soon, maybe he could ask him? Matt walked outside, quietly shutting the door behind him, careful to make sure nobody knew he was there. He glanced around, watching for Eduardo coming back. 

He waited about half an hour before he finally showed up, Matt rushing over to him the second he saw him.

"What's gotten you so excited all of a sudden?"  
"I'm not excited, I just need to ask you something."  
"Well, make it quick. I want to sleep."  
"Will do. So, you know that Jon, well.. killed himself, and I was wondering-"  
"Just get to the point."  
"Do you know why?"  
"Just look around the house, the place is littered with his stuff. You're bound to find something."  
"Right, thanks."  
"Whatever. Can I go now?"

Matt nodded then ran over to the door, quickly opening it and running inside. He didn't know where to start, it felt like that movie he and Tom had watched once. He could never remember the name of it, though. He stood there, strongly remembering the movie, but not the name.

"Wasn't it called 'Notes'? No, it was longer than that. 'Clues'? No, definitely 'Notes'.. Was it? Ugh, I'm getting sidetracked.."

He shook his head and began wandering around. He still had no idea where to start, but eventually decided on the bedroom. He walked into Jon's bedroom, glancing around. Despite their friendship, Jon had never let Matt in his room, quite abruptly. He thought back to one of the many times this had happened...

\-------------------------------------------------------

The two sat on the sofa, watching some horribly-made horror movie, laughing at almost every scene. They occasionally even mocked the scripting, much to the other's amusement.  
"Oh no, my friend's gone missing in the middle of the woods? Better go the exact same way she did. I totally won't get lost." Jon joked, happily. Matt was glad to see him smile.  
"Look! A creepy guy in the woods! I should totally go up and see him!" Matt laughed, managing to make Jon laugh as well. After a few minutes of this, Jon paused the movie, getting up.  
"Hold on, I've just got to go get something from my room. I'll be back in a minute."  
"Oh, I've never seen your room. Can I come?" Matt asked with a hopeful smile.  
Jon frowned, saying nothing before walking to his room. This left Matt confused, not sure what Jon could be doing that meant he couldn't come with him. He shrugged and just stared at the paused screen, the edges flickering occasionally. He laughed a bit at the perfectly timed pause, right at the perfect moment.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Matt sighed, remembering that memory. He quietly walked to Jon's room, opening the door before walking in. He gazed at everything, a little amazed. The walls were a pastel blue, well, what you could see of the walls. They were absolutely covered with posters, pictures, sketches, and notes. The posters were the usual; Bands and singers, films, there was one for a game, and a few other random things. The pictures mainly just seemed to be of himself, but the odd one was him and Matt, making the ginger man smile slightly. The sketches were odd, mainly just of poses in some specific order. After some thinking, he realised these were for practice. Jon didn't really like drawing, but he did enjoy dancing, so these sketches made sense; these were poses for routines. Now, as interesting as the other things were, the notes were the things to really catch Matt's attention. He picked one off the wall, reading it. It looked to be more of a business card than a note:

'FixYourFaults - Call 44-3069-990118 for a quick fix. Remember: No one will love you if you're unattractive' (Hooray for references!)

Matt stared at the card, confused, hurt, and definitely not staring at the scantily clad woman photoed next to the text. He got his phone out of his pocket and decided to dial the number, wanting to know what this business was. After a minute or so of music, someone picked up on the other end.

"Hello? My friend handed me your business card. I was a bit confused about what this business was, so I'm just calling to find out."  
"Ah, okay. That's understandable, it's not really the most informative card, is it? We're a plastic surgery company, the only one in the area."  
"Oh, I had no idea he had surgery. You must be good at what you do. I was wondering, how many times has my friend visited?"  
"We get so many visitors each day, I don't know which one your friend is. What's his name?"  
"His name's Jon Bridger. He's kinda short, had light brown hair, smallish eyes-"  
"Ah, him. I saw him almost daily. I don't know why he stopped coming so suddenly?"  
"Oh.. He sadly passed away.. I'm one of his closest friends."  
"Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. I won't ask any more questions. But, to answer yours, he's been here.. 26 times! Wow, I had no idea he came so often! Well, is there anything else you'd like to ask?"  
"No, that'll be all. Thanks for your time.."  
"You're welcome."

Matt hung up. He was shocked. Jon was absolutely beautiful, why did he feel the need to get surgery? He read a few more notes; appointments. Matt felt guilty, wishing he knew sooner, so he could tell him not to go. He glanced around the room, nothing else catching his eye. He sighed, walking out of the room and onto the next room..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be the plot for another fic but ehh--  
> It works-


End file.
